My mother-in-law Susan was like a second mom to me—always there, helping with babysitting, chores, and even supporting us financially when times were tough. But when her husband passed away unexpectedly, everything changed. Watching her struggle to cope, I stepped up to support her, answering constant calls and running errands. At first, I wanted to help, but slowly her dependence grew overwhelming, and no one else from her family shared the burden.
Despite trying to speak with my husband and his siblings about sharing responsibility, I was told I owed it to her since I was “just at home with the kids.” The pressure became too much. I felt invisible and trapped, sacrificing my own needs while they expected me to be her constant support. Eventually, I began avoiding her calls.
Our relationship grew distant, strained by unspoken resentments and misunderstandings. She barely speaks to me now, and the silence weighs heavily. I wonder if I failed her, or if I did what I needed to protect myself. My husband and his siblings try to paint me as the bad guy, but their lack of concern for my well-being hurt more than their judgment.
I still feel guilty but know that setting boundaries was necessary. Supporting someone through grief is hard enough; doing it alone is draining. I hope one day the silence breaks, and we find understanding. Until then, I am trying to heal and balance care for others with care for myself.