For her 30th birthday, Olga planned a quiet dinner at a casual restaurant that offered both vegan and non-vegan options. She wanted a simple celebration where everyone could enjoy themselves, mindful of including dishes for all tastes. She carefully chose the spot to make sure no one would feel left out.
But as the invitation went out in the group chat, the mood quickly soured. Jokes about “rabbit food” started flying, followed by a question: “Do we all have to eat vegan because it’s your birthday?” Olga reassured everyone they could order whatever they liked.
Then came the kicker. Someone argued, “If you’re making us adjust for you, maybe you should pay the bill.” Others chimed in, agreeing that she was “controlling the vibe” and that they were “adjusting” for her, so she should treat everyone. On her birthday.
Stunned and hurt by the unfair demand, Olga canceled the whole event.
Instead, she booked a table for herself at a fancy steakhouse—yes, a steakhouse—which, ironically, had an incredible vegan tasting menu she had always wanted to try. The meal arrived course after course—each a work of art—and Olga smiled, realizing this solo celebration was exactly what she needed.
Friends did reach out after, surprised she had gone alone. Olga replied it was the best birthday she’d had in years.
Her experience highlights the unspoken tensions around birthday dinners: who pays, what’s expected, and how accommodating differing lifestyles can test friendships.
Olga’s story reminds us that celebrating what feels right for you—whether it’s a big group night or a quiet indulgence—is what truly matters.
