I’ve been married for seven years and have three kids with my wife. At first, things felt normal, but when our twins were born, everything changed. My wife started keeping me away from the kids, telling me to run errands or rest whenever I tried to help feed or care for them. It felt like I was committing a crime just by trying to be involved. Even when I took time off work to spend with the kids, she was quick to criticize or find ways to keep them from me. I felt pushed out of my own family, as if I had to accept the role of just a bystander rather than a father.
One time, when my wife was busy on the phone, I put our oldest to bed and fed the twins, thinking I was helping. Instead, she yelled at me for doing it without her permission. Arguments followed whenever I tried to be with the kids instead of doing chores or work. She called me selfish for wanting to be involved, and therapy or talking things over was never an option. The tension made every interaction stressful, and I started doubting what a family was supposed to be.
The worst was when she was briefly hospitalized. I took time off to care for the kids, but she told me to go back to work and left the kids with her parents. She even sent them to take the kids away from me. When I confronted her about the growing divide, she said I was trying to destroy the family and hurt the kids by pushing for change. It felt like a jail sentence—not being trusted, not allowed to parent my own children the way I wanted.
Now, I’m at my breaking point, seriously considering divorce. I want to be a father, not a stranger, but she’s made it clear I’m not welcome in that role. My own parents suggest trying to fix things, but without communication or therapy, I don’t see how. I don’t want our kids growing up with us at war every time I try to be involved. I’m scared of losing my family to this fractured, distant life we’ve become.
