I had a friend, let’s call her M, who was incredibly fun to be around but had one annoying habit—she always forgot her wallet. At first, I thought it was an innocent mistake, and I didn’t mind covering her once or twice. But it became a pattern. Whether it was dinners, coffee runs, or parties, she somehow “forgot” to pay me back. I kept track one day and was shocked to find out she owed me over $500 for small things. The last straw was during a group dinner where she ordered lobster, dessert, and cocktails, then casually slid the bill my way saying, “You’ve got this, right?” Everyone looked at me, expecting me to cover her again. But this time, I said no.
I told her, “Actually, no. Since you still owe me for the last five times, this one’s all yours.” The look on her face was priceless—she turned red, stammered something about running to the ATM, and left. She never came back. It was a harsh lesson, but one she needed. Real friends don’t treat you like an ATM.
This experience taught me the importance of setting boundaries and standing up for myself. I realized that sometimes, the kindness you show is taken for granted if you don’t make your limits clear. Covering friends occasionally is one thing, but becoming their free bank is another. It’s important to value yourself enough to say no.
Since then, I only go out with people who respect me and my boundaries. Money may be a tricky topic, but ignoring it only makes the problem worse. Honest conversations about finances are essential, and sometimes you have to be firm—even if it costs a friendship.
